SURVIVING THE HOLIDAY’S SINGLE
Where’s My Single Women?
If you would have asked me in my 20’s if I thought in my mid 40’s I would be a single woman/mom my response would have been a big NO!
To be honest when I married the first time in my early 20’s, like many I thought that would be my only marriage. That I would be the one to break the generational curse of divorce. That wasn’t the course that my life took.
I found myself divorced in my late 20’s and searching for ALL the wrong things.
I had low self worth, hardly any self confidence or self esteem and zero boundaries. I couldn’t stand to sit home alone so I felt as I needed to be with someone to fill those lonely moments. I wanted desperately for someone to want me because well, then it made me feel better about myself, for the moment. THEN... throw the holidays into my dysfunction and I hated my life and totally hated the holidays.
I would look at others who were married or had someone to spend the holidays with and I would find myself jealous, envious, not realizing my own blessings or doing what I just mentioned above to fill that added void of the holiday seasons.
In trying to fill that XXL hole in my heart I made some huge mistakes! I settled for people in my life that shouldn’t have been there. I searched for the wrong people. With zero boundaries I allowed the wrong tribe to be in my inner circle that only caused more heart damage and made me lose myself even more. See, in the moment you choose to not see anything past the moment. It’s the holiday’s + your lonely= This person is filling a void. That void won’t continue to be filled. If you chose to keep filling it with the wrong it honesty keeps you in a destructive pattern and that void only gets worse.
There’s that saying.... Wherever you go, you take YOU with you. The only person who can fill that void is God. The one who created you. The one who knows you better than you know you. The one who at any given moment knows how many strands of hair you have. The one who knows what and WHO you need. The one and only one who loves you unconditionally and has no hidden agenda except to love you and wants the absolute BEST for you.
This holiday season if you find yourself single let me urge you to not do what I’ve done years ago. Don’t fill a void with a warm body. Do better for yourself. Your not being fair to you or even to that other person. Don’t settle for less than what your valued at. I promise you in God’s eyes your worth isn’t measurable. Being single isn’t a curse and certainly isn’t a life sentence. This is a season. Yes, your season may be longer than someone else’s but remember comparison gets us in trouble. Walk through your season with your head up. Find joy around you. I promise it’s in many places. Volunteer. Give back to your community. Giving to others immediately gets your focus off of you and onto others that you can help. Pour into God, let him love on you. Let him show you the areas in your life where you need to grow and learn. By doing that your going to grow stronger as a person on the inside which in turn will impact your future spouse, ORDAINED BY GOD. You’ll be whole without anyone and healthy for yourself and that future spouse. Chose joy! Chose contentment! Chose to smile!
Be intentional with your kids, family and friends. Intentional with creating lasting moments with your kids during the holidays. Focus on being intentional with surrounding yourself with family and friends who truly have your best interest at heart. Love on them and let them love on you. Laugh, ALOT!
Your worth every ounce of hard work you are doing on you. Which makes you worth praying and waiting for that right person to walk beside you in this life! Don’t let the holidays steal that from you.
LOVE YOU enough to be selfish and not give into the wrong person to fill a void. Stand tall, brush yourself off, adjust that gorgeous crown and CHOSE to enjoy he holidays!!
Much Love!
